Do you ever describe yourself in the following ways?

• "I find it difficult to make small talk"
• "I don't think I have any real close friends"
• "I feel there is a barrier between me and other people"
• "Sometimes I get the feeling of not belonging, or of being an outsider"
• "I worry what people will think about me, so I keep them at a distance"
• "I find it difficult to initiate conversations"
• "Other people refer to me as quiet or shy"
• "I hate the thought of rejection; it makes me feel worthless"
• "I couldn't walk into a room full of strangers on my own"
• "I think people find me boring"

Nearly everyone feels these things at some time in their lives, but for gay people these feelings can be prolonged and intensified. Deeply internalized doubts about their value can cause some gay men to invent a mythology about the kind of person they are.